via the onion:

BROOKLYN, NY—Mark Mendicus, 26-year-old Staples employee and principal owner of the fantasy baseball team Beat With Uggla Stick, blasted his underperforming team in the media Monday, going so far as to single out individual players, criticize their recent play, and question their commitment to winning....Read More

JERRY: (confused) Dinner? W..What time is it?
HELEN: (pulling on a coat) It's four-thirty.

JERRY: (bewildered) Four-thirty? Who eats dinner at four-thirty?

MORTY: By the time we sit down, it'll be quarter to five.

JERRY: I don't understand why we have to eat now.

HELEN: We gotta catch the early-bird. It's only between four and six.

MORTY: Yeah. They give you a prime sirloin, a salad and a baked potato, for
eight-ninety-five. You know what that cost you after six?...
Yeah, we've got that too...

Not sure if it's the Canadian Walleye, Cripple Creek Trout, Bourbon Glazed Shrimp, North Atlantic Salmon Seafood Platter, Crab Stuffed Shrimp, Lobster or King Crab but we are honored to be recognized as the #1 Seafood Restaurant in Moline.

TAKE MOM TO THE BEST IN MOLINE!

Urban Spoon has ranked Montana Jacks #18 in the Top 100 Illinois Restaurants.

Thank you to all our our guests from all of us at Montana Jacks.

FIVE STARS! Great food! salad bar is exceptional, the drinks and the steaks are awesome! Great ranch dressingI only wish they had one of these here in Chicago!

Samantha F.
Chicago, IL